"Support the Local Scene!"

Oh man if there's anything I love, it's being politely asked for money. Oh support the local scene? Support local music? Give me money or else we won't have a scene!!!!

Hey, ever think that maybe if you have to beg for money all the time, you just aren't very good? Look, I understand that there's a lot of luck and 'right place/right time' involved in getting signed, or 'making it' but you ever consider that maybe the reason you can't get gigs anywhere but your uncle's bar is that, again, you just aren't very good?

The older I get, the more I can't help hear "Support The Scene!" as some manipulative koan along the lines of "Buy American", translated as "We would like your money, and since our product is inferior, the only impetus we have is guilt." I picture those schmaltzy Christian Children's Fund commercials, only instead of doe-eyed 3rd world children, we get a montage of asshole DJ's and shitty bar bands.

Hey, I support tons of local bands by buying their CD's and merch, and going to their concerts. They return the favor by not sucking. It's a symbiotic relationship, you might look into it. Besides, everywhere is "local" somewhere.

...Wait, do screenprinters count? If so forget everything I said, VA/DC/MD PRIDE ! SUPPORT LOCAL ARTISTS! BUY ALL MY SHIRTS RIGHT NOW OR IT'S YOUR FAULT THERE'S NO WHERE COOL LEFT TO HANG OUT! ALSO THE TERRORISTS WIN.

Also available as a Sticker!