Are you fuckers ready for Virginia?
Brutus said "Sic Semper Tyrannus" after killing the shit out of Caeser, and we made it our state motto, plus even our flag is a depiction of a dude getting his shit totally ruined. Shit, our flag might as well be the scene from Friday of Chris Tucker yelling "You got knocked the FUCK OUT man!" It should also be noted the figure who is Siccing the semper out of that tyrant is a chick with her boob totally hanging out. Awesome.
One of our school systems has the largest bus fleet in the nation. That means MORE BUSES THAN YOU. More buses means more kids, which means we're gonna kick the ass every last one of your honor students.
Despite the fact that our most populous area was the first in the country to have a six figure median income (Fairfax County REPRESENT), we're not just full of rich assholes government stiffs, we have three flavors of redneck (Mountan, Farm, Mechanic)! Speaking of "Old World Charm", despite a burgeoning technology industry (Fairfax County has been called 'The Silicon Valley of the East Coast'), we haven't forgotten our roots! Remember the "Macaca" guy? That was one of our elected officials. Our state song, "Carry Me Back To Old Virginny" was written by a slave, about being a slave in Virginia and actually has the word "Darkeys" in it. When it was pointed out to us that a song extolling the glamorous life of a slave might not be the most friendly thing in the world, we finally got around to looking into getting a new song. Ten years ago. We still haven't picked a new one.
You know why there's a West Virginia? Because when shit got rough, those mountain folk broke off because they straight up couldn't handle us. (...or the slavery... ok mostly the slavery, which we admit was a bad call, but we know the REAL reason; y'all couldn't roll with VA)
You know who else is from Virginia? Motherfucking GWAR, that's who.
"No place on earth do I love more sincerely
Than old Virginny, the state where I was born."
Fuck yeah, Virginia.